FOMO: An Answer to The New York Times Article, “The Summer You’re Not Having”

The Times article, “The Summer You’re Not Having” (8/19/15) http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/20/fashion/on-instagram-the-summer-youre-not-having.html is all about FOMO. It’s not new,  we’ve seen that sort of feeling expressed forever; but it’s certainly exacerbated by the ubiquity of people’s online “curated” lives (aptly described by Dr. Ethan Kross, cited in the article). Having occasional concern over missing out, or not being … Continue reading

WE SCAN FOR DISQUALIFIERS

You’ve all known people (or yourself) who, early on, begin finding things wrong with a person they’ve met -”he’s only a second-tier musician” -”she laughs too loudly” -”her hips are too big” -”he tells me he misses me too often” – the funniest: “he hardly has any apps” -”he’s not smart enough because he didn’t … Continue reading

‘WAITING’ and Time-Out

Waiting, or taking a time-out for oneself, is essentially a method to avoid becoming reactive; the reactivity being the very thing that exacerbates the problems rather than getting the situation back to neutral. If we wait, i.e., manage our anxiety,  we have a better chance of discerning whether the thing bothering us is just an ‘irritant’ or … Continue reading

WE UNWITTINGLY TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US: So Start Using This to Your Advantage Rather than to Your Detriment

How you see yourself determines your behavior and, reflexively, your behavior determines how you see yourself (and thus, how others come to see you); it’s a feedback loop. So, if you see yourself as highly competent, you’re going to behave in situations with self-certainty and ease. You’ll be more likely to manage a job interview … Continue reading

SHADOW BOXING

We’re shadow boxing whenever we’re making assumptions about what the other person feels, thinks, believes and how he’ll behave..It’s about our expectations – and the perceived likelihood of them (not) being met. Exacerbating this, we behave as if our beliefs about the other are true, and then react to the ‘effigy’ we’ve created rather than … Continue reading